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George Fritsma

Pastor Glenn McDonald: Finding the Positive


Just say Yes. That’s one of the secrets of great customer experience.

 

Today is CX Day, a national celebration of the companies and professionals who consistently deliver excellent service.

 

It’s also a day that reminds us that saying Yes is a healthy practice for the entire spectrum of human relationships.

 

But it isn’t always as easy as it might sound.

 

When marriage therapist Ona Robinson begins to work with a new couple – especially a pair who are finding it hard to affirm anything positive about each other – she often gives them an unusual homework assignment: Name three reasons why cannibalism is good.

 

Here are a few of the responses she’s received: “It’s an excellent source of protein.” “All natural ingredients.” “It helps keep global population in check.” “A great low-fat option.”

 

No one seriously believes cannibalism is a good idea. But the exercise creatively compels people to think Yes where we usually say No.

 

Saying Yes is likewise the secret to improvisational comedy. A comedian on stage might turn to his girlfriend and say, “Let’s get married at Taco Bell!” What in the world do you say to that?

 

That’s the stupidest, least romantic idea I have ever heard.” That response would be (a) quite true and (b) the end of the skit.

 

Improv demands that you somehow find a Yes: “Oh, darling, how wonderful! I’ve always dreamed of passing out those little packets of Fire sauce at our reception.

 

Finding a valid Yes is one of the surest routes to a positive experience with other people. As Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval assert in their book The Power of Nice, saying No shuts down possibilities. Saying Yes keeps them alive. 

 

That doesn’t mean we have to say yes to every request. We can’t meet every customer’s irrational expectations. Nor should we say yes when our teenager wants to join a dozen other high schoolers on an unchaperoned fall break trip to Mexico. 

 

But there is almost always something we can affirm. Where do we start?

 

Begin by communicating, “Yes, I’m paying attention.” When spending time with someone, put away distractions. Attentiveness is always a welcome gift, even if we can’t meet every expectation.  

 

Then communicate, “Yes, I want to help.” We may not have the power or resources to solve someone’s problem. But perhaps we can connect them with someone who can.

 

Furthermore we can always communicate, “Yes, I see you.” In other words, we can assure someone they are not being overlooked or ignored.

 

Thaler and Kovak have made it their practice to reply personally to every inquiry from potential customers. The last time you were searching for a job, how often did an organization that declined your request send a handwritten note that said, “We don’t have anything open at this time, but thanks for thinking of us – and we sincerely wish you well”? That’s a customer experience in which a No can actually feel endearing.

 

It may seem as if we all receive 10,000 emails a day (including this reflection). Who can possibly attend to all of them? 

 

Michael Dell, CEO of Dell Computer Company, personally responds to every email in his inbox every day. It’s an exercise that requires a couple of hours, but it has also become a signature aspect of his leadership. When Michael Bloomberg was mayor of New York City, a metropolis of 10 million people, he insisted that his home phone be listed in the white pages. He personally addressed the concerns of citizens whenever they called.

 

I see you. I’m paying attention. I’d love to help. You’re on my radar.

 

Those are all ways of expressing care and concern, because they’re all ways of saying Yes.

 

The apostle Paul says all that and more in Romans 12, an unusually dense patch of practical commands about elevating others.

 

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.

 

Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody (Romans 12:9-16, “The Message”).

 

Paul didn’t live long enough to see the first CX Day.

 

But if he did, it’s a good bet he would have said, “When it comes to loving God and loving people, every day is CX Day.”

 

Every day, in other words, is a great day to say Yes.

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